That is a hard question to answer, and I don't underestimate the difficulty some can have asking it. Asking what to do takes the courage to confront and make public personal doubt and indecision. Demonstrating that courage is an encouraging sign that a person may be able to find their own answer.

 

I don't give advice. When I confidently state what I would do or have done, my life is the boundary within which the statement even has a chance of being correct. I do like to ask pointed questions though. Sometimes the search for answers is so passionate that my response has been mistaken as advice. Human communications can be so difficult.

 

No one truly knows someone else's situation. Even being aware of all of the external aspects is difficult, especially if one conversation is trying to capture everything past, present and future. The internal understanding is even more difficult. How many of us know what is going on in our subconscious even with our privileged position of being able to see inside? Understanding someone else's true motivations can't be easy.

 

I am a fan of the individual. America prided itself on individuality, but since World War II and the Cold War, there's been a greater emphasis on placing responsibility and authority within others and institutions. "You're either with us or against us" wasn't even a new concept when the philosophical battle with the Communists was more dire. When ideologies and paranoia rule thinking for yourself isn't as safe as proving that you thought like someone else, be they Republican or Democrat.

 

The only person that knows their situation is themself. That can sound like a dodge around helping a friend, but answers are best found within. When they can't be found, it is good to reach out for a fresh set of questions, not answers.

 

Within finance, I usually ask if a person has enough. If they do, then the urgency may ease a bit, and the question becomes more of a detail than an necessity.

 

Most people don't know what enough is. Standard worksheets and formulas are necessarily over-generalized. They would work for everyone if the billions of people on the planet were all clones leading identical lives. A West Virginia coal miner with five children is in a different situation than middle-aged bachelor in downtown Seattle.

 

Enough is highly dependent on lifestyle and dreams. Lifestyle choices are more influential than the effect of Grecian bond rates on an IRA.

 

Do you know what life you want to lead? Is it yours, or heavily influenced by an ad agency, an institution?

 

Individuality might be measured solely by how many aspects of a life aren't common with everyone else.

 

 

When the realization comes that the questions are important, and when the realization comes that the answers must be found, then I am encouraged. One friend made a suggestion that I healthily followed. When something that important comes up, recognize and respect that by putting everything else to the side. He suggested a week spent in a comfortable cottage while staring at the ocean. Eventually I listened to him. I've lived here for over three years now.

 

I am still answering the question for myself. The question changes because life is not static. It is a continual effort, but one that is easier because I finally devoted time to answering it for me, my self, my life and my dreams. I am now building on that foundation, and I've made sure that it has a comfortable porch and a good wine collection. What should I do? Laundry first, then lunch, and maybe a walk on the beach if the weather cooperates.